Play to Your Strengths. It Makes Life Easier.
Play to Your Strengths. It Makes Life Easier.
By James E. “Jed” Foster, Jr., MA, LMFT
One of the instructors in the Certification in Positive Psychology course I took, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, often says that the goal of positive psychology is to make common sense more common. Take the title of this blog entry “Play to your Strengths. It Makes Life Easier.” Some of you may read that and say, “Well, duh. Thank you Captain Obvious.” But, here’s the thing…if It’s so obvious, why don’t we do it? Positive Psychology, the scientific study of strengths and human flourishing, is full of these little nuggets that seem so simple at face value: “if it works, do more of it,” “people with more positive emotions live longer and happier lives,” and “optimistic people are less depressed than pessimists.” Easy peasy, right? Not so much. We can read these bits of wisdom, soak them in, whole-heartedly agree with them, and summarily reject them. That’s right, we may go through our whole lives feeling that we were just “wired for pessimism” and that the sizable chip we carry on our shoulders is a badge of honor and our God-given right. We might even stick to that story after we learn that optimism is a learned behavior and a choice. Why? The simple answer is that we resist change, even positive change, and so we continue to ignore the common sense that surrounds us that could do us a world of good.
Positive Psychology informs just about everything I do in the treatment, and most of patients are learning how to identify their own strengths and spot the strengths of others. They’re learning how to create a strategy for sustained growth that is guided by the knowledge of both their higher and lesser strengths, and how those strengths play into not only who they are, but who they can aspire to be. Many have taken the VIA Strengths Survey (linked to in the article below) and can list their highest strengths with absolute confidence for the first time in their lives. Please take a moment to give this wonderful article on positive psychology and the utility of strengths-focused program from Psychology Today. If you like what you read, then I’d invite you to give me a call so we can dive in a little bit deeper and maybe even get you started taking on 2021 with a new set of lenses shaped by positive psychology.
Psychology Today: To Do Better, Focus On What You Do Well
And here are two positive psychology interventions to get you started
Gratitude Exercise:
Each night, either with a partner or out loud by yourself, state three things for which you are grateful and one thing you are looking forward to. This should be your final activity for the day, just before going to sleep. The point is to stimulate positive emotions to end your day. The three things can be as big or small as you choose, so long as the gratitude is heartfelt and genuine. It is ok to have things repeat night to night. For example, one may feel grateful for the health of their family repeatedly; but try to vary at least two of the items. Be creative. Think about the positive interactions you had that day. Whatever you decide, declare it out loud:
“I am grateful for ____________________ .”
“I am grateful for ____________________ .”
“I am grateful for _____________________ .”
“I am looking forward to __________________ .”
What Went Well:
In a notebook, keep the following journal for at least one week. If done in the morning, look back on the previous day and list three things that went well for you in the following manner:
What went well? _________________________
Why did it go well? ________________________
What can I do to make sure this keeps happening? ______________________________________________________________
Suggestion:
Choose one exercise to do first thing in the morning and the other to do as your last activity before going to sleep at night. By doing this, you have “bookended” your day with positive and optimistic emotions and intention.
Jed is a licensed psychotherapist that continues to be both amazed by and drawn to the mind-body connection. Check in on his blogs and video logs for news, information, tips, and commentary on topics related to – but not limited to – the mind-gut connection, behavioral therapy, gut-directed hypnotherapy, weight management, positive psychology, stress reduction, anxiety, depression, overall well-being, and anything else he feels patients will benefit from learning. Jed is actively accepting new patients. Call 224.407.4400 today and begin your journey to better health and enhanced overall well-being.